somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
