I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
