my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
