In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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