Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
