I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
