new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
