why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
