from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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