I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
