Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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