I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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