Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
