I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
