I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
