i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Randomize
