Already got asked if we're dating
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
