Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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