Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize