I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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