I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
