She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
