just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
