Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
