Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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