so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
