i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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