wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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