Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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