i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
