he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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