Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
