She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
