I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
