she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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