My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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