i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
