a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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