Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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