I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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