best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
