whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
