dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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