So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
