Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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