This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
