I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
