I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
