K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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