i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
