dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Someone signed my nipple.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
